Saturday, 8 October 2011

Difficult neighbours? By JC

Difficult neighbours are not that strange or so it seems. I mean, everyone has them, don’t they? Its strange neighbours that are difficult or so it seems to me.
Mine though are a bit different, really strange, at least to me and I hope you will agree. Having said that, I’m not so sure they would agree, then, I haven’t discussed this with them, should be scary if they see this.                                                                                                                                            

If you know them don’t draw their attention to this blog, please.
They constantly roar at each other and smile at me, at least I think it’s a smile, maybe a slimy smirk, which never crossed my mind until I started to write this. Maybe I should stay away from blogs as you can see how it makes me a little paranoid.
Are they smiling at me because I’m the nicest person in the whole wide world or are they smirking 
because they think I’m a bit strange, surely not?
I mean, I’m very normal, surely you agree? It really is tough being a little paranoid, i wonder would 
it be easier to be fully blown paranoid?
The only thing we have in common is the descriptive pro-noun, very, which underlines our very 
different states of mind, I hope?
I often wonder if they know they are strange, very strange and why all the shouting, it’s not  necessary, though they must see some benefit in it.
I suppose they could be hard of hearing but shouting and roaring is not the only strange thing about 
them, not by a long shot.
Oh no! There are stranger things happening that side of our fence and regularly.
On Sunday in the heavy rain, out came the dinner table, white table cloth, candles etc. Down they sat, not a bother on them, chili Con Carne, always chili con carne or so it seems and bottles of wine, with no attempt to cover them. The candles, needless to say, didn't last long but that didn't faze them, the just continued in the very heavy rain, as we looked on, eating their very runny chili con carne and drinking their sodden French wine. No sign of an umbrella or rain coat. All the time roaring and screaming to their hearts content. No grace before or after just roaring and screaming with soft sensuous classical music in the background, very loud.   I should explain at this point that they always seem to be enjoying themselves and never fall out with each other, best of friends.
On one occasion they tried a television in the garden while having one of their sodden meals as they are referred to locally, but the rain soon dampened that idea with a small popping noise and a little smoke. A beautiful 42 inch plasma screen long before anyone else on our street could afford a plasma tele.                                                                                                                                                   Ireland were playing rugby somewhere or other but it really didn't matter as Ireland lost badly and it was probably better they couldn't see our side being ridiculed on the pitch.
Mind you, while watching the tele, for the very short while, they were very quiet, so quiet I looked out to see what was wrong. I needn't have worried, they were back to normal as soon as the tele blew, Whoosh! didn't stop them eating their chili Con Carne or drinking their sodden French wine, yes! They enjoyed themselves as usual.
Having said all this, I’m sure this behavior is all very normal in their household even if it’s seen as strange on our street and as far as the rumours have spread. To be fair, some of the rumours are exaggerated and way off target.
The other side of this conundrum and the final piece of my case, i have never seen them eat outdoors in the sunshine or a cold day without rain. Once or twice they have dined in the snow, whether it was falling or on the ground but as we don’t have much snow it’s hard to base a case on that.
As i say, strange, very very strange, i hope you agree?

JC-Dublin-A City defined by it's friendliness